Tired of feeling helpless and useless as my dad is stuck for months and months in a hospital bed over 600 miles away, I decided to put my brainface to work doing the things I do best: rambling and interneting. (Okay, I know I'm better at doing other things too, but this isn't the blog where I wax on and on about how fabulous I am hahaha!) I needed an outlet for my emotions, a network to more easily share information with scattered family and friends, and (maybe, just maybe) a means for generating some income to help tackle his growing pile of medical bills.
The name P.A.P.A.S. was inspired by my dad's dog who is named, um, Papas (Spanish for potatoes) and my feelings of anger towards his malfunctioning organ (BAD PANCREAS! BAD! STOP BEING SUCH A JERK!) I wanted something catchy and funny, as well as something that was relevant to my dad and his interests; thus P.A.P.A.S. was formed!!! It's been a long, bendy road so far and every day seems to bring us something new. It's hard living away from my family, but the internet has been a great way to help keep us close. Victor has friends and family spread out all over the place, and I've come to realize I don't know even half of them! My hope is that this blog will be shared many many times, connecting and informing all those people who care about him and want to know how he's doing. So please share this with everyone! I will do my best to update frequently about his current conditions, needs, goofy musings and general mischief making.....
If you have any questions, comments, or wish to send Victor cards, letters, etc., please contact me at: to.victor.with.love(at)gmail(dot)com. He has been moved from one ICU to the next, to different facilities, and back again! He is still not really able to use the phone or send texts easily, so contacting me will ensure you know where they're currently stashing him and that he will receive all the love you wish to send him! The donation button located on this site will take you to an account I set up specifically for my dad. Anything and everything donated through that button and every item sold on my Etsy site will go directly to him. Period. I am committed to seeing my dad through this and doing whatever it takes to get him back on his feet.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
So What's Wrong With Victor? (Pt.3)
There have been many more procedures since that super scary one that Victor has had to endure: various abdominal drains, mainlines, various configurations of breathing apparatuses, feeding tubes, etc., and I had to get a phone call to approve every one of them! (I designated a special ringtone for the hospital because I was practically getting anxiety attacks every time I heard my phone ring.) All these things happening and yet the most stand-out operation was still to come. [Side note: I'm trying to document all these medical terms and procedures as accurately as I can remember them; I'll have this all double-checked if possible so as not to accidentally mislead or cause confusion concerning my dad's health.]
Dad had been teetering on balancing out after that initial operation until I received a call telling me the doctors felt they MUST OPERATE NOW OR ELSE! (They needed to do the procedure AGAIN that scared us the last time!!!) They had to go back in and try to physically remove the pseudo-cysts forming in his abdomen, as well as try to remove more of the dead pancreatic tissues. His mortality was once again on the line. "Can't the poor man ever catch a break?!" was on everyone's mind at this point.
We received yet another miracle that day thanks to the skilled hands of the surgeons working on my dad! The surgery went as planned and they were able to remove a huge chunk of the dead tissues! (Everything we kept hearing from the doctors was that they will try everything they can in order to NOT operate on the pancreas. Apparently it's THAT volatile of an organ to deal with.) The unfortunate part was that they were not able to fully close him back up due to his body being so inflamed/swollen, so he was left with a surgical mesh and a drain over the wound until he could properly be mended.
Slow but steady progress followed, he no longer needed to be intubated and had been given a tracheostomy instead. (This was actually better because we were told it'd be less uncomfortable and he'd be able to talk with it when he was well enough; my dad not being able to communicate to us or the nurses had been a major concern.) Soon there were less drains, less IVs, and real food brought for him to eat! We finally started receiving text messages from him again and even phone calls!
Not being able to talk to my dad every day has been the second hardest part of all this for me. (The first obviously is his life being in danger!) I'm so thankful that so many family members and friends have visited him since he's been in Albuquerque; I can only be there so long at a time! Plus, poor Kim fractured her foot recently, making it impossible for her to drive for the past few weeks!
I just returned from my most recent trip about a week ago with my mom and am happy to report that Victor was eating, talking (when his energy level permitted), and had requested that we bring his guitar for him to play! (He still was too weak to really play anything, but it was nice to see him doing something normal again.) He'd been moved out of the ICU at UNM and placed in an acute care facility called Kindred. He's scarily thin from basically not having any food for 3 months, but seeing him drink most of a frosty was encouragement that he's on the road to recovery! (Don't worry, the nurse gave us permission to bring him some junk food to help entice him into eating more.) He thinks everything tastes weird..... but we tried to convince him it was probably due to his non-eating since forever, the medications he's on, and the fact that he was, after all, eating hospital food! hahah! (Sorry cafeteria people, I know you do the best with what you have!) He still has the mesh covering the wound on his stomach, but the doctors say they will cover it with skin grafts as soon as it's healed the proper amount.
Unfortunately, we received some bad news on this most recent trip. My dad's FMLA had run out and his company decided to fire him. This means no more income and no more insurance. *@$%&$#?!@#$&!!! Was all we could think at this point.
I admire that his boss drove to speak to him personally about this matter and how the man expressed how greatly disheartened he was that the company had made this decision, trying to reassure my dad he'd have his job back as soon as he was well. But a terrible time had just gotten worse. We were already in a financial crunch trying to make sure his normal bills were being taken care of and this was just the icing on the cake. Thank goodness he is receiving long-term disability pay so that means he still has some kind of income, but this barely takes care of his regular bills and doesn't even begin to cover his medical ones.
So this is where everything currently stands. I got an emergency call from Kindred a few days ago that my dad had to be taken back to UNM due to complications of an infection that was highly resistant to antibiotics, but he is still on the path to getting well again. Victor has a very long recovery road ahead of him; that skin graph still needs to be done, he's going to to need lots of physical therapy, and his body needs to kick out those stupid infections and abscesses! We all hope he'll at least be able to come back to El Paso sooner than later and receive treatments closer to home, but right now he's still far too fragile for that.
Dad had been teetering on balancing out after that initial operation until I received a call telling me the doctors felt they MUST OPERATE NOW OR ELSE! (They needed to do the procedure AGAIN that scared us the last time!!!) They had to go back in and try to physically remove the pseudo-cysts forming in his abdomen, as well as try to remove more of the dead pancreatic tissues. His mortality was once again on the line. "Can't the poor man ever catch a break?!" was on everyone's mind at this point.
We received yet another miracle that day thanks to the skilled hands of the surgeons working on my dad! The surgery went as planned and they were able to remove a huge chunk of the dead tissues! (Everything we kept hearing from the doctors was that they will try everything they can in order to NOT operate on the pancreas. Apparently it's THAT volatile of an organ to deal with.) The unfortunate part was that they were not able to fully close him back up due to his body being so inflamed/swollen, so he was left with a surgical mesh and a drain over the wound until he could properly be mended.
Slow but steady progress followed, he no longer needed to be intubated and had been given a tracheostomy instead. (This was actually better because we were told it'd be less uncomfortable and he'd be able to talk with it when he was well enough; my dad not being able to communicate to us or the nurses had been a major concern.) Soon there were less drains, less IVs, and real food brought for him to eat! We finally started receiving text messages from him again and even phone calls!
Not being able to talk to my dad every day has been the second hardest part of all this for me. (The first obviously is his life being in danger!) I'm so thankful that so many family members and friends have visited him since he's been in Albuquerque; I can only be there so long at a time! Plus, poor Kim fractured her foot recently, making it impossible for her to drive for the past few weeks!
I just returned from my most recent trip about a week ago with my mom and am happy to report that Victor was eating, talking (when his energy level permitted), and had requested that we bring his guitar for him to play! (He still was too weak to really play anything, but it was nice to see him doing something normal again.) He'd been moved out of the ICU at UNM and placed in an acute care facility called Kindred. He's scarily thin from basically not having any food for 3 months, but seeing him drink most of a frosty was encouragement that he's on the road to recovery! (Don't worry, the nurse gave us permission to bring him some junk food to help entice him into eating more.) He thinks everything tastes weird..... but we tried to convince him it was probably due to his non-eating since forever, the medications he's on, and the fact that he was, after all, eating hospital food! hahah! (Sorry cafeteria people, I know you do the best with what you have!) He still has the mesh covering the wound on his stomach, but the doctors say they will cover it with skin grafts as soon as it's healed the proper amount.
Unfortunately, we received some bad news on this most recent trip. My dad's FMLA had run out and his company decided to fire him. This means no more income and no more insurance. *@$%&$#?!@#$&!!! Was all we could think at this point.
 |
| I feel ya, bro. |
I admire that his boss drove to speak to him personally about this matter and how the man expressed how greatly disheartened he was that the company had made this decision, trying to reassure my dad he'd have his job back as soon as he was well. But a terrible time had just gotten worse. We were already in a financial crunch trying to make sure his normal bills were being taken care of and this was just the icing on the cake. Thank goodness he is receiving long-term disability pay so that means he still has some kind of income, but this barely takes care of his regular bills and doesn't even begin to cover his medical ones.
So this is where everything currently stands. I got an emergency call from Kindred a few days ago that my dad had to be taken back to UNM due to complications of an infection that was highly resistant to antibiotics, but he is still on the path to getting well again. Victor has a very long recovery road ahead of him; that skin graph still needs to be done, he's going to to need lots of physical therapy, and his body needs to kick out those stupid infections and abscesses! We all hope he'll at least be able to come back to El Paso sooner than later and receive treatments closer to home, but right now he's still far too fragile for that.
So What's Wrong With Victor? (Pt.2)
I don't know how familiar you all are with what it's like to be in the ICU, or even spending time at a hospital in general, but I definitely was NOT prior to my dad getting sick. Let's just say I'm very thankful for my health and my super immune system! (Evidently inherited from my dad, more on this later.) It smells weird, it feels weird, it sounds weird..... and they expect people to be able to sleep, eat, and function in there?! GAH! I don't know what I would do if I had to be stuck in there for any amount of time! But my dad, trooper that he is, has been living in a strange white, beeping, buzzing ICU room for over 3 months.
I hate it.
When Kim and I arrived we found my dad barely responsive and hooked up to all kinds of machines: pain meds, abdominal drains, heart and oxygen monitors, feeding tubes..... I don't know if I can even remember what all was there now but it was terrifying, absolutely terrifying. When he was coherent, he had no idea where he was or what had happened. We stayed by his side and tried to offer whatever comfort we could. (Daddy likes when you scratch his head while he's sleeping!)
I had to leave prematurely because I felt a sinus/head cold coming on and I was afraid of potentially causing any more complications for my dad by passing that on to him. We thought he would be getting healthy now that he had that procedure done and would soon be returning to normal now that those toxic fluids were gone. So with a heavy heart I got back on the plane to Dallas; Kim returned to El Paso shortly after I left to return back to work.
Please allow me a moment to flesh out this story a bit more with some info about what was going on in my life at the time, I will to try to be as concise as possible!
My wedding was set for Sept. 8, 2012 and my family had been making arrangements for months. I even enlisted my dad as my personal style guru and veil-maker! When he first was hospitalized in Aug., my dad was stressing about "messing up my plans", but we did our best to assure him that there was absolutely no way the show would go on without him! Things were still on track when he was released the first time and all seemed well. Then he was sent to Albuquerque, and we moved the date back to Oct. 20th because it seemed (at the time) he'd be well enough by then. Although this was going to cause things to be a bit wonky -- our honeymoon had already been scheduled for Oct. 15-19 -- the most convenient time for the rest of the family and to allow my dad more recovery time was for the wedding to be after we got back! haha! Unfortunately, things again didn't go as planned and so our official ceremony remains TBA. My dad has expressed much sadness about this, but I keep telling him not to be crazy!! It wouldn't be the wedding of my dreams if he wasn't there to share it! I am more than happy to wait until he's better, not just because he'll be able to walk me down the aisle, but it gives me plenty of time to make sure I still fit into my dress!
Wah-wah.
My husband and I (officially wed thanks to our friend Jim and mailing in paperwork) were able to enjoy our first day together in San Antonio on the River Walk and retired to our hotel. All jokes and innuendos will have to wait because it was on this night I received the scariest phone call of my life.
[I'm very hesitant to talk about this just yet, not for dramatic effect, but because I worry that in some way it may negatively impact my dad's recovery if he finds out just what all he's been through before he's 100% well again. I think it's important though for his family and friends to know just how scary a journey it's been so far as well as a testament to just how STRONG my dad has been through everything, so I will share it.]
I received a call from the doctors saying that during a procedure, Victor's heart stopped for 5 minutes.
Everything gets kind of hazy for me after this point, it was late and I was terrified I might lose my daddy. 5 whole damn minutes my dad's heart had stopped beating. It was unfathomable. It tore me apart. The doctor told me dad was critical, but stable for now. What had happened was that my dad had been forming abscesses in his abdomen, larger and more severe than the drains were able to keep up with. The fluid coming from his pancreas (which by this point was over 2/3 necrotic tissue) was filing his body with toxins. His body was going septic, he had infections in his blood, his white blood cells were out of control, his body all swollen. He had been placed on a ventilator and there was a pocket of fluid forming around his left lung making it hard for him to breathe. The doctors had no choice but to go in and try to remove the abscesses and potentially some of the dead parts of his pancreas.
After much debating, my husband and I decided that it'd be best if we got some sleep and drove to Albuquerque the next morning since it was so late and we had already had a long day of driving behind us. The next day we met up with my mom, her husband, and my grandmother in New Mexico to be with my father.
I hate it.
When Kim and I arrived we found my dad barely responsive and hooked up to all kinds of machines: pain meds, abdominal drains, heart and oxygen monitors, feeding tubes..... I don't know if I can even remember what all was there now but it was terrifying, absolutely terrifying. When he was coherent, he had no idea where he was or what had happened. We stayed by his side and tried to offer whatever comfort we could. (Daddy likes when you scratch his head while he's sleeping!)
I had to leave prematurely because I felt a sinus/head cold coming on and I was afraid of potentially causing any more complications for my dad by passing that on to him. We thought he would be getting healthy now that he had that procedure done and would soon be returning to normal now that those toxic fluids were gone. So with a heavy heart I got back on the plane to Dallas; Kim returned to El Paso shortly after I left to return back to work.
***
Please allow me a moment to flesh out this story a bit more with some info about what was going on in my life at the time, I will to try to be as concise as possible!
My wedding was set for Sept. 8, 2012 and my family had been making arrangements for months. I even enlisted my dad as my personal style guru and veil-maker! When he first was hospitalized in Aug., my dad was stressing about "messing up my plans", but we did our best to assure him that there was absolutely no way the show would go on without him! Things were still on track when he was released the first time and all seemed well. Then he was sent to Albuquerque, and we moved the date back to Oct. 20th because it seemed (at the time) he'd be well enough by then. Although this was going to cause things to be a bit wonky -- our honeymoon had already been scheduled for Oct. 15-19 -- the most convenient time for the rest of the family and to allow my dad more recovery time was for the wedding to be after we got back! haha! Unfortunately, things again didn't go as planned and so our official ceremony remains TBA. My dad has expressed much sadness about this, but I keep telling him not to be crazy!! It wouldn't be the wedding of my dreams if he wasn't there to share it! I am more than happy to wait until he's better, not just because he'll be able to walk me down the aisle, but it gives me plenty of time to make sure I still fit into my dress!
Wah-wah.
My husband and I (officially wed thanks to our friend Jim and mailing in paperwork) were able to enjoy our first day together in San Antonio on the River Walk and retired to our hotel. All jokes and innuendos will have to wait because it was on this night I received the scariest phone call of my life.
[I'm very hesitant to talk about this just yet, not for dramatic effect, but because I worry that in some way it may negatively impact my dad's recovery if he finds out just what all he's been through before he's 100% well again. I think it's important though for his family and friends to know just how scary a journey it's been so far as well as a testament to just how STRONG my dad has been through everything, so I will share it.]
I received a call from the doctors saying that during a procedure, Victor's heart stopped for 5 minutes.
Everything gets kind of hazy for me after this point, it was late and I was terrified I might lose my daddy. 5 whole damn minutes my dad's heart had stopped beating. It was unfathomable. It tore me apart. The doctor told me dad was critical, but stable for now. What had happened was that my dad had been forming abscesses in his abdomen, larger and more severe than the drains were able to keep up with. The fluid coming from his pancreas (which by this point was over 2/3 necrotic tissue) was filing his body with toxins. His body was going septic, he had infections in his blood, his white blood cells were out of control, his body all swollen. He had been placed on a ventilator and there was a pocket of fluid forming around his left lung making it hard for him to breathe. The doctors had no choice but to go in and try to remove the abscesses and potentially some of the dead parts of his pancreas.
After much debating, my husband and I decided that it'd be best if we got some sleep and drove to Albuquerque the next morning since it was so late and we had already had a long day of driving behind us. The next day we met up with my mom, her husband, and my grandmother in New Mexico to be with my father.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
So What's Wrong With Victor? (Pt.1)
There's all kinds of things wrong with the man, but we try not to judge him! HA! I'm kidding. My dad's perfectly fine if you love sarcasm, goofy faces, and lots of chocolate and coffee! But he's not fine if you look at his medical records for the past 3 months...
Victor has been suffering from a terrible case of Pancreatitis.
He had suffered about 4 previous bouts of this ever since around 1995. Each time he was hospitalized, the doctors couldn't identify the cause of it and he was released within a few days (longest stay was 9 days.) Common causes of pancreatitis are alcoholism or gallstones, none of which were problems my dad suffered from. He would just get these terrible, debilitating pains in his stomach, get taken to the emergency room, then released when the pain and inflammation went away. My family never knew the damage his pancreas could do when he got another attack August 28, 2012.
He was working when the attack hit him; thankfully his job was within a hospital so he was able to check himself in immediately. Routine treatments were given with the same inconclusive results. His initial stay was longer than usual, but the doctors determined him well enough to be released after a month. Thanks to my mom I was able to visit him at this time (being a broke, late twenty-something living in the Dallas area, it's hard for me to get out to El Paso as often as I'd like.) He had been out for about a week and had lost around 20-30lbs, still weak and unable to do much more than chill in the house. We had a good time being lazy together while he recovered and things seems to be going back to normal. But the second day I was there, he started having some pain and a fever (symptoms the doctors warned us to monitor.) Turns out I had to call the ambulance that night and after a 4hr wait in the emergency room, he was admitted once again into the ICU.
His condition quickly deteriorated, his pancreas spewing out toxic fluids to the rest of his abdominal area. The staff at the hospital were at their limit of being able to treat him and were trying to get him admitted to UMC, the only hospital in town that could perform the draining procedure my dad desperately needed. Unfortunately, their ICU was completely full. So we waited. They estimated it wouldn't be longer than 48-72hrs, but the beds in their ICU never opened up. My dad got worse and worse, he was dying from this stupid illness that we had no idea could ever get him in this position in the first place!
It was a miracle (the first of many, I'm happy to report) that his fiancée Kim had a friend who is a doctor at UNM that was able to help get my dad admitted to their ICU. (The doctors in El Paso were thinking about sending him somewhere in San Antonio, another hospital whose ICU was full!) As soon as there was clearance for the transfer, my dad was airlifted to Albuquerque, NM. The procedure was done almost as soon as he was admitted; Kim and I drove to Albuquerque the next day to be with him.
Victor has been suffering from a terrible case of Pancreatitis.
He had suffered about 4 previous bouts of this ever since around 1995. Each time he was hospitalized, the doctors couldn't identify the cause of it and he was released within a few days (longest stay was 9 days.) Common causes of pancreatitis are alcoholism or gallstones, none of which were problems my dad suffered from. He would just get these terrible, debilitating pains in his stomach, get taken to the emergency room, then released when the pain and inflammation went away. My family never knew the damage his pancreas could do when he got another attack August 28, 2012.
He was working when the attack hit him; thankfully his job was within a hospital so he was able to check himself in immediately. Routine treatments were given with the same inconclusive results. His initial stay was longer than usual, but the doctors determined him well enough to be released after a month. Thanks to my mom I was able to visit him at this time (being a broke, late twenty-something living in the Dallas area, it's hard for me to get out to El Paso as often as I'd like.) He had been out for about a week and had lost around 20-30lbs, still weak and unable to do much more than chill in the house. We had a good time being lazy together while he recovered and things seems to be going back to normal. But the second day I was there, he started having some pain and a fever (symptoms the doctors warned us to monitor.) Turns out I had to call the ambulance that night and after a 4hr wait in the emergency room, he was admitted once again into the ICU.
His condition quickly deteriorated, his pancreas spewing out toxic fluids to the rest of his abdominal area. The staff at the hospital were at their limit of being able to treat him and were trying to get him admitted to UMC, the only hospital in town that could perform the draining procedure my dad desperately needed. Unfortunately, their ICU was completely full. So we waited. They estimated it wouldn't be longer than 48-72hrs, but the beds in their ICU never opened up. My dad got worse and worse, he was dying from this stupid illness that we had no idea could ever get him in this position in the first place!
It was a miracle (the first of many, I'm happy to report) that his fiancée Kim had a friend who is a doctor at UNM that was able to help get my dad admitted to their ICU. (The doctors in El Paso were thinking about sending him somewhere in San Antonio, another hospital whose ICU was full!) As soon as there was clearance for the transfer, my dad was airlifted to Albuquerque, NM. The procedure was done almost as soon as he was admitted; Kim and I drove to Albuquerque the next day to be with him.
Who is Victor?
"Who is Victor?" you might ask..... well, let me give you the simple answer: He is MAN! He is MYTH! He is..... MY FATHER! He has been for the past 29 years and he will continue to be until all the world and its history no longer exists. (But I'd like to think even THAT couldn't stop us!) He is also now a proud grandfather (Pep-Pep!) thanks to my little sister squeezing out one awesome-ass baby earlier this year. It's going to be hard to write about someone I admire so much without filling pages with glowing adjectives and exclamation marks, but I'll try to be as un-biased as possible..... maybe. ;-)
A devoted animal lover, my dad has dedicated countless hours to caring for all kinds of critters. He's cared for shelter dogs and unwanted classroom pets. He was a volunteer at the El Paso Zoo for a time and was working at the Great Dane Rescue of El Paso before he got sick. This blog's name is actually inspired by his dog, Papas! (We named him that when he was a puppy because he looked like a great big brown potato!)
My dad is also very artistic and musically inclined. I've been surrounded by instruments and art supplies my entire life thanks to him! When he wasn't working, you could often find him holed up in his jam room or hunched over his desk drawing or making jewelry from beads, wires, and whatever other strange things he could get his hands on. His Etsy store, Oddworld was beginning to include a great collection of handmade earrings and necklaces until he stopped running it due to being stuck in the hospital for so long. (Note: I am in the process of re-listing his items in my own shop so his creations can escape to new homes! I'll provide a link on here for anyone interested as soon as I finish setting things up.)
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